Villa 1 City 0; and things that are predictable.

Bent scores the winner against City for three separate clubs... he's heating up!

Football is a rather predictable game — despite our inability to select three winners on a Sports Multi every week.

Predictable: Roberto Mancini describing someone/something/somewhere as 'important'.

Predictable: Manchester United racking up another three comfortable points at home against Birmingham/Wigan/Blackburn et al.

Predictable: Professional career-ender Kevin Muscat picking up a red-card for a challenge that was maybe "just a little bit mistimed".

Predictable: any blog post by us not being anywhere near as funny or clever as we think at the time.

Predictable: Opposition fans suddenly regaining internet access to come out woodwork and give it the big I am, falling over themselves gloat that we have "over 100mill worth of strikers and still cant score"...

And so as night follows day, Darren Bent scored another match-winning goal against Manchester City, an occurrence so utterly foreseeable that even we picked it last week.

Thankfully, after already denying City a possible six points this season, that's the last of Darren Bent we'll see for a while... unless the money-grabbing, Twitter-posting, suddenly-value-for-money striker decides that he's got another week of the window left and fancies a move to Stoke.

A slight concern for the Blues (apart from falling further behind in the title race — thanks again McLeish!) is the apparent confusion that playing both Tevez and Dzeko in the same team has brought. Neither player seems entirely comfortable playing on the left of a forward three, something which Mario Balotelli, and dare I say it, even Jo, look more adept at doing.

In their desperation to equalise, City launched wave-after-wave of attack — with Tevez and Johnson determined to dribble around the whole opposition back-eight like something out of a Harlem Globetrotters film. Aston Villa were able to hold on to the slender one-goal advantage, thanks mainly to the frustratingly-dependable Richard Dunne, who will no doubt return to form with a yellow card and an OG next week.

News just keeps getting better for the Villa, with Gary Glitter said to be interested in buying a share of the club, after hearing their attack is Young, Bent, and possibly Keane...

And yes, that joke is so old by now that even Gary Glitter wouldn't invite it back to his hotel...

It's another day for you, you and me in paradise...

Mario Balotelli: brilliant footballer, even better WUM...

Mario Balotelli has used his latest injury lay-off to WUM just about everyone in world football, with Wayne Rooney, Jose Mourinho, and even the entire Barca team copping a serve.

"Rooney is a very good player but not the best [striker] in Manchester. Our attack of Balotelli-Tevez-Dzeko is the best in the world. We are the strongest. Better even than Barcelona and Real Madrid" scowled Mario — and that's not even mentioning the other attacking talent in the squad, David Silva, Adam Johnson, and Jo Yaya Toure.

The want-away Italian also claimed he is better than Rayne Wooney, but then again, with one goal from open play in twelve league appearances this season, that puts Tabloid Wayne amongst the great goal poachers of our time, alongside such luminaries as Joleon Lescott and Micah Richards. Still, it's one more goal than Jo's managed this season, so every cloud...

"Do United fans insult me? No, they stop me in the street and say: 'Mario, come to us'. But I dream of beating them because I know how much the City fans care. They are wonderful with me. When they sang my name after the hat-trick, I had chills..."

"They're multiplyin'!" he didn't add.

Meanwhile, in breath-taking transfer news, 'Arry "I ain't no wheeler and dealer" Redknapp has wheeled-and-dealed himself another midfielder, with Steven Pienaar the latest to sign for those ultra-attacking, devil-may-care, free-scoring Tottenham Globetrotters. Who despite the presence of the bestest left-back turned left-winger in the world, have still netted six less goals than Boring, Boring City.

"I've had brilliant years at Everton and it will always be a special place in my heart," tweeted Pienaar as he left Goodison Park, just before having his iPhone nicked.

Elsewhere, Darren Bent has joined Aston Villa from Sunderland for the cut-price fee of £18million, just in time to score another late winner against us on Saturday... sorry, £18 million?

Is he really worth one Roque Santa Cruz? Ok, poor example... is he really worth two-thirds of an Edin Dzeko? (Presumably you'd take the two legs. And the head. You could do without the arms...)

Bent is no doubt worth the extra money because can he score the odd goal, but he is also English, and would therefore qualify as a home-grown player under UEFA regulations. This would be important in the unlikely event of Aston Villa avoiding relegation qualifying for the Europa League, also known as "hell freezing over".

The only thing more shocking than a player moving from the top six to a team in a relegation dogfight is the fact that people are still wringing their hands at the thought that players move clubs "just for the money"...

Yaya Toure's 40-yard runs...

We're a massive fan of them... so much so we've cobbled together this little bit of YouTube goodness. Not bad for a "defensive midfielder", hey? Enjoy!

City 4 VfL Wolverhampton 3; obligatory Dzeko-based pun.

Moneybags Manchester City regained top spot in the League (albeit having played three games more than United), with a 4-3 victory over plucky little Wolves, who have spent a fraction etc...

It was a performance very atypical of what we have come to expect this season from City — gone was the resolute, you-shall-not-pass defense we've come to expect of the central pairing of Van San Kompany and Kolo Toure, replaced by scuffed clearances, needless penalties, and old-fashioned bricking-it. Although according to the BBC, we should have expected no less; after all "City's Achilles is their defence." That'd be the same defense that has leaked 19 goals at an average of 0.82 a game then? Oh...

"We can improve because although we played good football in the second half, we had some problems at the back and shouldn’t concede three goals at home," Mancini fumed, thankfully focusing on that negative and not losing it amongst the positive of scoring four at the other end — although Edin Dzeko's debut was the best in a number 10 shirt since, um Robinho. If that's a poor game by his standards (hasn't played in a month, doesn't know his teammates, hates the Manchester cold etc), I can't wait to see him in full flight.

We're not usually one to subscribe to the "the refs are all biast [sic] and they hate city!" school of thought, but extra points to Lee Mason for not only being incredibly shit — and playing enough additional time to ensure those who left the stadium early made it home before the final whistle — but also being the first ref to successfully pull of a Cruyff Turn mid-match.

Lucky, flimsy, scintillating, and heart-stopping. And a whole lot more exciting than watching West Ham. Boring, boring City indeed.

Love City, love bespoke Sky Blue suits...

Bridge joins West Ham on loan; sub-editors (and City fans) rejoice.

Wayne Bridge proves he is as useless with his right hand as he is with his right foot, missing an easy handshake by at least two feet...

Sub-editors across the globe were predictably tripping over themselves to be the first to publish a headline with a gratuitous Simon and Garfunkel pun, as Wayne Bridge joined the troubled West Ham (damn, it's an easy trap to fall into) on loan for the rest of the season.

The 'Ammers will even pay the full whack of Bridge's £90,000 weekly wage, as they desperately try to undo the damage caused by playing Tal Ben Haim in defense all year.

Bridge was Mark Hughes' first true post-takeover signing, joining the club in January 2009 for the typically frugal figure of £11 million.

"I am glad the loan is sorted and I'm ready to play. It will be great to play a part in helping keep West Ham in the Premier League. It would be a big achievement."

"I know a few of the players from England and I know the physio," he continued, without an apparent hint of irony, considering his injury-plagued time at City.

We've spent a lot of money in recent times, but it seems awfully hard to justify £20 million pounds of investment on a player who aside from his early days at Southampton, has robbed a career as an okay left-back and serial bench-warmer. One who you'd suspect would happily go all Winston Bogarde on us and sit back and collect a wage for doing not much at all...